Joel Fuhrman M.D.: Disease-Proof Your Child: Feeding Kids Right
Alfie Kohn: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
Pema Chodron: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Library)
Jack Kornfield: A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
Paula Polk Lillard: Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three
sidewalk writing
Right now, I'm feeling grateful...
...for a perfect weekend
...for the health and so-far speedy recovery of my friend's son (that I mentioned last week)
...for connection with kindred mama spirits
...for this morning's music class
...for a super-tidy yard and patio (thanks to my love)
...for lingering kisses
...for first sentences
...for finished sewing projects
...sunshine and pinwheels
What are you feeling grateful for today?
Lately, we've had a number of cold and rainy days. As soon as the clouds break, we open the front door to let in some sunshine and warmth. It doesn't take long before Thea starts pointing at the door saying, "Chalk! Out-side!" So, outside we go.
She loves carrying the chalk bucket, dumping out all of the chalk, and gathering as many of the chalk crayons in her hands as she can possibly carry. She is thrilled that she can make marks with the chalk.
Of course, often the best part is trying to sneak bites of the crayons while mama glances away.
How do you begin to explore creativity with your children?
I'm having a bit of trouble focusing today. A friend of mine just found out some really frightening news about her son, and I can't think of anything else. So, while I'm feeling particularly blue, I know that it is especially important to focus on gratitude.
Right now, I am feeling grateful...
...for a napping baby
...for my new niece
...for warm socks
...for free sewing patterns
...for dates with my love
...for a semi-clean house
...for such sweetness and support around my sewing adventures
...for the ways my daughter challenges me
...for everyday moments of connection and love
What are you feeling grateful for today?
You see, the first time I put on her cape, she wasn't so sure about it:
So, at the suggestion of my friend Beth, we spent some time letting her play in front of the mirror in her costume.
It worked.
The rain broke just in time for us to hit the streets to take Thea trick-or-treating.
We ended up cruising around the neighborhood with Thea's friend Immy and her dad Sam. Imogen's mom made her a pretty amazing purple dinosaur costume, complete with a hand-knit hat.
Thea was the most excited about the play-doh and pretzels that Imogen's family gave the kids - which was good since those were the only things she could really enjoy anyway.
There was lots of romping and running in the autumn leaves.
We ended the night at a neighborhood party, where Thea had her very first hayride.
I hope you had a fantastic weekend!
Today has been quite the happy day. We are celebrating the birth of my new niece, Caroline Elizabeth, who arrived early this morning. I can hardly wait to meet her.
And, at long last, I've finished Thea's Halloween costume. Tomorrow, she'll be dressed as Little Red Riding Hood.
It's my first attempt at a dress. It's certainly not perfect, but I'm pleased with the way it turned out. And in the process, I've learned so many things - not only about sewing, but about myself too. More on that another day.
Here's the dress:
The dress is a modified version of the simple dress pattern in Lotta Jansdotter's Simple Sewing for Baby. The original pattern turned out to be a bit too short, so I added the band of red fabric at the bottom. On Thea, it's a bit longer than I had planned, but maybe she'll be able to wear it during the next warm season.
Of course, a Little Red Riding Hood costume wouldn't be much of a costume without a sweet little cape. Thea's is made of a fine wale red corduroy with a cotton lining. It's from this pattern at Martha Stewart online. I haven't been able to get a great shot of her wearing the finished cape, but here's a little peek.
I hope you have a fun weekend!
I am grateful...
...for falling leaves
...for naptime spent at my sewing machine
...for soup season
...for the lessons my wee girl teaches me each and every day
...for family
...for each new day
What are you feeling grateful for today?
We had five cold, rainy days in a row, so we spent lots of time indoors cooking, playing, and snuggling.
Feeling grateful...
...for a good night's sleep
...for the dozens of times a day Thea looks up at me and holds up her arms saying "hug!"
...for hot tea and yummy vegan pumpkin bread
...for sunshine after a string of cold and rainy days
...for "noses" (when Thea and I rub our noses together)
...for instructional youtube videos that get me unstuck when working on a project
...for having so much love in my life
What are you feeling grateful for today?
Today, our girl is 18 months old.
It seems just yesterday that she was that tiny little girl in my arms. I remember thinking how I loved her wildly, but also how I didn't really feel like I knew her at all.
Now, I am just amazed as her personality reveals itself a little more each day. And as I learn more and more about who she is, I fall in love over and over again.
Happy birthday, baby. I'm so lucky to be your mama. I am so grateful to know you.
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. - Robert Brault
These days, I'm finding this quote especially inspiring.
Do share - what words keep you centered?
Today, I'm feeling grateful...
:: for freshly baked pumpkin bread
:: for grocery-shopping dates with a super-fantastic friend and her sweet girl
:: for my little book-worm
:: for a thoughtful, generous, and kind husband who came home early to give me a break from chasing around the napless toddler
:: for the start of Susannah Conway's autumn Unravelling e-course
:: for my daughter's joy and wonder at discovering the world
:: for afternoon sunshine
:: for a sleeping baby
What are you feeling grateful for today?
For months, I've been waiting for the start of the autumn session of Susannah Conway's Unravelling: Ways of Seeing Myself e-course.
Today, my journey begins.
What is inspiring you today?
When I tell people about Thea's long list of food allergies, the question, "So, what DO you eat?" is usually soon to follow. Since I'm still nursing Thea, my diet also has to exclude her trigger foods. It's made mealtime a bit more challenging.
(In case you're wondering, the list of foods to avoid includes the following: beef, chicken, turkey, apples, coconut, pears, strawberries, grapes, blueberries, pecans, oats, rice, crab, fish, shrimp, milk, black pepper, lima beans, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, celery, spinach, and sweet potato. In addition, we've also had to eliminate soy, and we're currently doing a challenge to see if she has outgrown the egg allergy she had when she was younger.).
One of our summer staples has been a yummy salad made with quinoa, black beans, corn, and cherry tomatoes. I usually whip up a batch each weekend and we eat it throughout the week.
quinoa salad with black beans, corn, and cherry tomatoes
Here's the recipe:
(or at least as much of a recipe as I can offer - except for the quinoa and broth, I really just whip this up without measuring much of anything)
1 cup quinoa (rinsed)
2 cups broth (chicken or vegetable)**
black beans to your liking (I usually use about 3/4 of a 15 oz can)
2 ears corn
cherry tomatoes to your liking (I love the yellow sungold tomatoes in this recipe, they are soo sweet and
yummy)
juice from 1 lime
couple tablespoons olive oil
1 TBS (or so) honey
Cook the quinoa (bring to a boil then simmer for 15-20 minutes
or so - until all the liquid is absorbed and the ring around the center of the grain is visible). Let the quinoa cool down before mixing everything
together. Cook the corn and then cut it off the cob. Mix the lime
juice, oil, and honey. Mix the quinoa, corn, and beans. Add the
dressing, mixing thoroughly. I mix in the tomatoes last so they don't
get too beaten up.
**Since celery and carrots must be avoided, I now make this just using water - a slightly different taste, but just as yummy.
So there you have it - I thought I better share the recipe while there are still tomatoes for sale at the farmer's market.
I absolutely love quinoa - and I have many more recipes to share using this super-healthy grain. I'd also love to hear your favorite quinoa recipes. So, do tell...
We've been a bit under the weather over here, so the posts rattling around in my head over the past week have stayed there - for now. But I was determined to make my Monday post. Here goes...
I am grateful for vegan chocolate chips.
I am grateful for my new bangs.
I am grateful for sloppy open-mouthed baby kisses.
I am grateful that I am once again feeling more confident in the kitchen.
I am grateful for impromtu dinners with friends.
I am grateful for really good books like this one.
I am grateful for almost a full night of uninterrupted sleep.
What are you feeling grateful for today?
On this Monday, my heart is so full. Instead of going on for hours, I'll leave you with just a few things that are making me smile.
I am grateful for the cooler weather that September brings.
I am grateful for beets and swiss chard.
I am grateful for late-blooming summer flowers.
I am grateful for quiet moments snuggling with my wee girl - who is often too busy to slow down these days.
I am grateful for a breathtaking sunrise (pictured above), which made being up at the crack of dawn feel like a gift.
I am grateful for little bits of time spent at my sewing machine.
I am grateful to be taking part in this upcoming e-course.
I am grateful for weekends spent with family who live too far away.
What are you feeling grateful for today?
It feels a bit awkward to begin again after being quiet for so long. But I'm working on making space for writing because it is so good for my soul.
Life has been such a whirlwind. Mostly, I spend my days chasing after Thea and being amazed at how much she grows and changes each day. Watching her self emerge and observing her and supporting her as she learns to navigate the world is such a gift. I am so grateful to spend my days seeing it all unfold. I used to just nod and smile when people would say something about their child being their greatest teacher. But now I completely get it. Each day, she shows me ways that I can grow - how I can be more patient and kinder and more understanding and less focused on myself. And I am learning so much about how the way that I was raised and how my relationships with my parents created the person I am today.
In addition to the business of mothering, I've also been thinking a whole lot about food. This is partly because after 16 months of subsisting primarily on cereal, I'm trying to get myself back into my healthy ways of eating. But mostly, it's because sorting out Thea's food allergies has been pretty consuming. Since she was a few weeks old, we've struggled with feeding her. First it meant altering my diet. Now it means continuing to tweak my diet and experimenting with foods to find out what she will tolerate. We finally had her tested last week and it turns out she is allergic to nearly everything she had been eating. So now, we pretty much have a vegan baby who is also allergic to rice, oats, and a good number of fruits and vegetables. And if that wasn't challenging enough, I recently started eating a gluten free diet. All this means that we're going to be getting a lot more creative in the kitchen.
So, there you have it - a little hello - a small step towards easing back into this space. I'll be back soon.
sunrise over the bay
It is difficult to know where to begin. So much has changed over the past few months, and many of those changes are happening in the deepest parts of my self. There is so much that I want to share, but also a great deal that I feel I must continue to hold close to my heart.
The short version of the story is this:
Many months ago, my milk supply declined. For a number of reasons, but mostly because of Thea's allergies, I was feeling fairly desperate to provide her with more milk. After trying everything else, I began taking a medication to increase my supply. A few months into taking the medication, I started to feel noticeably depressed. I cried all the time. I felt hopeless. I was miserable.
I started to suspect that the medicine was contributing to my deepening depression. After discussing this with the prescribing physician, we decided that I should wean myself off of the medication. As I decreased my dose, my anxiety began to mount. Within 36 hours of taking the last pill, my body was in rebellion and I was thrown into an extreme state of anxiety and panic. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. Really, I could barely function. It was a bad space.
I expected that as the medication cleared from my system, I would begin to feel better. Yet, I continued to feel worse and worse. All I could think about was how to get through the next moment. I could barely take care of Thea. I wasn't sure how I would get through that time. It was the worst thing I have ever felt - an even more difficult space in which to exist than anything I experienced on my journey to become a mother.
Not knowing where else to turn, I went to see my OB. She suspected that being on and then stopping the medication had thrown my hormones into a tailspin and what I was experiencing was clearly a chemical imbalance resulting in "classic post-partum depression." After a good bit of discussion, I decided to try another medication to see if it helped level things out. And while things got much worse before they got better, they did improve.
So now, I'm trying to regain my footing. I'm trying to take really good care of myself. I'm trying to work through the underlying issues that were - and still are - lurking below that chemical imbalance.
I'm also in the process of sorting through what this space will be for me as I continue to try and find my way. It is my intention to begin writing again on a more regular basis, though, as I said, right now I am wading through some strong emotional currents, and I'm not sure what exactly this will look like.
Thank you for reading, and for witnessing my journey.
At long last, I am back.
I want to share some about what has been happening for me over the past few months, but right now, I am slowly and gently coming out of my quietness. Today, I thought a good place to begin would be by offering gratitude.
I am grateful for vegetables growing in the garden, for new flowers sprouting, and for the smell of lavender.
I am grateful for stillness.
I am grateful for increasing hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I am grateful for my morning cup of tea.
I am grateful for baby kisses.
I am so very grateful for all of the calls, emails, facebook messages, and comments from people who wanted to check in with me during my absence.
I am grateful for really amazing friends who have walked beside me during the past few difficult months (including many who don't have blogs that I can link to!).
I am grateful for my mom, who continues to amaze and inspire me with the depth of her love and her generosity.
I am grateful for my husband - for his unwavering love, for his steadiness, for his confidence, for his unique way of embracing life, and for the big and little ways he offers his heart, each and every day.
I am grateful for Thea, and for the ways she encourages me to open my heart wider, to grow, and to be present for what each moment brings.
What are you feeling grateful for today?
Despite my best efforts, I wasn't able to post my grateful list yesterday. So here it is, a day late. I hope you too are finding many things that warm your heart.
I am grateful for so many lovely birthday wishes this weekend.
I am grateful that my grandfather is able to enjoy time with is great-grandchildren.
I am grateful for new friends.
I am grateful for the self-knowledge that comes in quiet moments of reflection.
I am grateful for the calm after a good cry.
I am grateful for movies that put things in perspective.
I am grateful for mid-day dates, and for having family close by to make those happen.
I am grateful that my days are spent taking care of my sweet daughter.
I am grateful that I have so much love in my life.
What are you feeling grateful for today?
